Poecology

Issue 3

 

 
 

Lissa Kiernan

 

Recipe for Yellowcake

 
 
There are more ways than one to arrive at a good yellowcake! Often overlooked, dense yet light
in consistency— after you have practiced making one or two, you will find yellowcake can be
made very quickly, particularly if you are one of the fortunate few to own the latest in
sophisticated equipment.
 
     1. Preheat the oven to 2878 °C.
 
     2. Crush raw ore to a fine powder by passing through a series of industrial-sized crushers
          and grinders.
 
     3. Bathe the resulting pulped ore with concentrated acid.
 
     4. Leach out the uranium and, after drying and filtering, set aside.
 
Be sure to filter well, or your yellowcake may turn out to be a gray cake, depending on the
number and type of impurities that remain.
 
     5. Smelt into purified UO2, taking care not to scorch.
 
     6. To enrich, combine with fluorine, and pass through a gas centrifuge.
 
Enrichments complete the whole master system of yellowcake-making!
 
     7. Cool.
 
     8. Cool again.
 
     9. Cool some more. Yellowcake must be thoroughly cold before it can be iced.
 
Storage
 
     10. Yellowcake may be stored in the desert for hundreds of thousands of years.