A small box, a miscellany collected near; in proximity to; within several miles of a row of large cedars.²
Spanning thirty-four meters in length, the row runs west past a limestone foundation. Corrugated debris. Steel. Tangled against trees. Entwined with the undergrowth. A possible silo or granary amongst the cedars.
Difficult to tell.
“Cultural material was spread over about 1500 sq meters.”
A sensation cannot persist unchanged.
A series of small things shifted; shared amongst themselves. So full.
A breath comes between.
Saying again. Says differently. As they are.
When there are so many blurs. Do I get by? Moving around in a space of moving around. Of time, memory, juxtaposition. Rubs of body against not body.
Me against not. Not here.
Me against a sentence, punctuated once. Doubling of words.
Necessity, a curve as highlight and shadow. As the everything of in-between. The grating of a thickness. Its tone. Wax. Words undone by words. A going on going onwards.
At the root of skin: periphery of a sentence of experience. An abeyant frame. Beginning.
I circle back again without stopping. Unable or unwilling. I don’t.
Spine of the…. Marked folded refusing to…Un…eeded insofar as. It…A…distance. A conjecture.…if…it.…belongs here.…a sound that is the shape of my…; that makes it…. A conviction. Which rises and is forgotten until…At which point it reoccurs…is interrupted.
Long enough. A development from before, I am here. A pronoun increasing across time.
…gathering material. Doubt building the object.…from…out of a cavity.…Grown over.…A mutable alphabet. Ought I…. Turning over upon itself.
[moht / moʊt (IPA)]
A mo(a)t(e) before me.
a. A ditch built up into an embankment and filled with water. No waves, just one figure in the center approachable from a single point of entry. A drawbridge elevated; disconnected on purpose, effecting an island.
b. One of many specks of dust floating in a beam of light. I make the swerve of that beam. And those particles of dust.
c. Something very small and inconsequential; a jot. It remains to be asked; to be followed; perhaps as one forgot to value—didn’t get it. Inconsequential, a value in itself, not ‘just noise.’ Noise annoys and oyster. And who else?
d. A drawback; a blemish tarnishing my impulse. This is difficult, indeed. All is not lost.
Sparkles in the sunlight.
Whispering emphatically but words don’t come out. What is. They are. But a shadow. A sensation whispers so without sound I can feel it move. I am surrounded by words that will not. All over my face. And inside I am going somewhere. The having-been of persons present. I am left. It becomes a having-been perceived and continues to fall. The striations of minutes accruing. The sensation of years then decades atop one another. The having-been weighs something. In the tissue, an individual tightens. Their synapses shadowed with double-take, sensation in overlap and feeling only the between-them-and-then. All at once in one’s body; this body. Is a given. A physical duration: now multiplied by as-if-it-were-now.
One or several scraps at a time, each stacked on top of the rest. Shuffled through again as recourse. No more than the proximity of material, haphazard at best. A staggered figuration. And yet I, this, am garnered—a moment—an intersection emerges.
A refusal to retreat. In the struggle of things, they are. I am.
An emptiness double full. Making something present in the tumble of transparent to focus; loss and tear. Where does one go from here—
Structures built recede under water.
Compressed into a density, the object and its now multiplied by the exponent of the past. All at once.
Alida will be inundated with water. Will cease to exist.
One cannot deny that there are echoes. Anything, anyone extant in the midst of a flow of continuous change. The occlusion of one by another confounded by a sense of touch at the temporal fringe; “Structural bolts protruding” from “the edge.”³
¹The Alida Co-Operative Elevator Co., Qty. 45 Nails .15, 6 | 75, | .17 tax / 6 | 92, chg A. L.
American Express Co. Money Order Sender’s Receipt Keep It (Fill in below for your records), CH-830,174,005, 7.94, 2 – 25 – 65, Dist OE, Electric Box for Feb. See other side for conditions of issuance and payment, Form No. 5201
²Austin Lay Construction Co. Custom work: pond building, diking and terracing, sand, gravel and dirt handling, Sept 9 1963. A. L. Digging Basement. 267 cu yds @ .50¢ / $133.50. 1½ hrs molding cement porch @ 12.00, 18.00 / 151.50. Sept 30, Backfilling Basement, 4 hrs @ 12.00, 48.00 / 199.50. Paid in full. Received By A. J. Oct – 14 – 63.
Site-specific details gathered from the following archaeological report, hereafter abbreviated: Molyneaux.
South Dakota University Vermillion Archaeology Lab, and Brian L. Molyneaux. A 1993 Cultural Resources Inventory at Milford Lake in Geary, Clay, Dickinson and Riley Counties, Kansas. Accession No. ADA311225. Comp. Nancy J. Hodgson, William H. Ranney, Andrew M. Stewart, and Ronald I. Marvin. Kansas City, Missouri: Department of the Army Kansas City District. Corps of Engineers, 1995. Defense Technical Information Center. 21 March 1995, pp. 29 – 30.